My Toolkit of Behavior Tricks
Real Interventions that Really Work for Emotionally Reactive Students
Written by Ryan Wheeler, M.A.
For Edutopia.org
February 2017
Over my many years of working with emotionally reactive students I have learned a few tricks. Each time I acquire a new skill I say that it goes in my “toolkit.” This toolkit is my figurative database of different techniques to try in situations when students are in crisis. These students do not yet possess self-regulation strategies to help themselves so my job then becomes helping them out of the immediate moment. One technique does not work for every student; therefore, I take the pragmatic approach, in that if one doesn’t work, then I just keep rolling through my toolkit of tricks until I find one that is effective.
Presence
Oftentimes, students act out because they are not feeling seen or heard so if I give them my complete focus they are having that need met. I get the student’s attention first by using his or her name. When they know that I know their name that communicates that I am here to help. Eye contact is my first tool, I know this sounds basic but this simple element is essential. I’ve found that if I focus all of my attention on the student with my eyes and convey a real sense of empathy that begins to build a bridge of understanding. After saying their name and catching their eye I engage them in some dialogue.
The first strands of conversation are not particularly of consequence as I am merely trying to get their mind off being flooded with negative emotions. Sometimes, I ask a genuine question like, “What is the matter?” and other times I try to distract with a completely unrelated comment like, “Whoa! Is that the Millennium Falcon outside?” I have also been known to tell a silly joke as a means of shaking a student out of a frustrated mindset. Saying something that has absolutely nothing to do with the present moment may be enough to snap them out of their flooded state. I’ve used distraction in many ways to get student’s attention off of whatever or whoever made them furious and bring them back to a state of rational thinking. Once, I walked into a room where a student had a cadre of teachers pushed off to the side of the room while he was brandishing a shelf from a bookcase. After quickly surveying the scene I just said, “hey what is that?” while pointing away from me. That second of distraction was enough for the student to forget what he was doing, see my friendly face, and give me his would-be weapon and the crisis was resolved peaceably.
Rapport is the best remedy for any crisis situation. For this reason, I make a point of getting to know the students with histories of being highly reactive. I like to think of this as building equity in case such a need arises. One day I was walking out to the recess field with my football and passed the PE teacher. She politely asked what I was doing and I replied, “I’m going to have some positive experiences with kids.” She appreciated this response and understood immediately that my laying the groundwork with positive interactions can pay itself off exponentially later on...also, playing with the kids is just fun for them and me!
Tactile
A tactile approach can also be extremely useful. For a specific young autistic student, I bring a small squishy soccerball to any situation because simply handing him that ball is enough to quell his anger. For another student I use hand squeezes that count down from five. I put my thumb in his hand and count five hand squeezes, he then returns the five squeezes. We work our way down to zero in 30 seconds or less and the frustration abates. Trying these tactile techniques can give students a safe way to let out their negative energy in a safe and positive way.
Practice
My favorite technique from my toolkit involves only breathing. Teaching a student how to breath intentionally as a means of controlling emotions is one of the gifts I impart. I ask them to focus on my eyes and teach hand signals to reduce verbalization and focus first on the act of breathing. The hand signals are as follows: palms up to breathe in, palms out to hold the breath, palms down to breathe out. We do no more than 5 total breaths and the entire process takes about 40 seconds. I like teaching this technique because it can help emotional regulation and promote clear thinking in any situation. Intentional breathing can be used to alleviate test-taking anxieties, center oneself before giving a presentation, finding a second of peace before moving on from one thing to the next or just mindfully being present is this moment right now.
Emergency situations can be impactful for everyone involved: the student acting out, the staff trying to help and any student who witnesses the action. I arrive at these instances ready to use my toolkit and keep trying these as well as other techniques to help resolve it as quickly as possible. Remember that if one trick does not work keep rolling through your repertoire until you arrive at one that is of assistance; also, be cognizant of what worked this time and try that one first should the need arise with the same student. Our purpose is to help our students however they need and guiding them to get their emotions under control can be one of the most essential skills we teach.
